If your partner is trying to humiliate, isolate and scare you, you may be experiencing emotional abuse. It is a pattern of behaviour designed to control you by undermining your self-esteem. They make you believe you deserve it, that you’re stupid and worthless, provoking them, you’re ‘a bad mother’ or going crazy.
Emotional abuse is the most common form of domestic abuse and can cause lasting harm. It usually starts with small controlling behaviours that increase over time. It may escalate into physical abuse.
Emotional abuse includes:
- Belittling you and calling you names in private and/or in front of others.
- Threatening to harm to you, the children, pets or others.
- Emotionally blackmailing you: threatening to harm themselves or take their own lives if you leave them.
- Criticising your clothes, hair, body, the way you clean, the way you cook.
- Making you feel like you are “walking on eggshells” through unpredictable and aggressive behaviour.
- “Gaslighting” making you doubt yourself and your perception of reality.
- “Lovebombing” you – overwhelming you with excessive gifts/attention/affection to make you feel like you ower them seomthing in return.
- Making you feel guilty.
- Ignoring you, not listening or responding when you talk.
- Restricting where you can travel to or who you can see. Monitoring/restricting the fuel you use in your car or the distance you can travel.
- Isolating you by not allowing friends or family to visit you at home, or making such a fuss that they don’t want to come / you don’t want to ask them. Stopping you from spending time with them.
- Telling your family and friends lies about you.
- Sulking or not speaking to you when you do something they don’t approve of.
- Lying to you. Withholding information from you.
- Being jealous (or pretending to be) of your other relationships with family, friends or colleagues. Fabricating events to justify suspicion / jealous outbursts.
- Cheating on you.
- Breaking promises and shared agreements.
- Stalking you, either physically or online, making you constantly share your location or using a tracking device on your phone.
- Destroying or threatening to destroy your property, belongings or car.
No one deserves to be abused. If you are being subjected to any of these abusive behaviours, call us when it is safe to do so. We will help you begin to think through your next move, with your safety as our highest priority.
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