No two relationships are the same, so what’s unhealthy in one relationship may be abusive in another. Although there may be many signs, here are the most common warning signs of an abusive relationship:
Intensity: Abuser is over the top, overwhelming you, it feels like too much too soon. Also known as “love bombing”. They lie to cover up their own insecurities and behave obsessively.
Jealousy: Abuser is irrational and gets angry when you speak with someone they perceive as a threat. They persistently accuse you of flirtatious or inappropriate behaviour.
Anger: Abuser overreacts or lashes out over small things. They are quick to lose control, easily becoming violent, frightening and threatening you.
Control: Abuser tells you what to wear, who to hang out with, when to speak or what to think.
Isolation: Abuser insists on only spending time with you on your own. Refuses to interact with your friends and family. Invents reasons why you shouldn’t see your friends and family.
Sabotage: Abuser disrupts your normal life, making you miss work, school, appointments and things that are important to you by starting a fight, pretending to be sick, breaking up with you or hiding your phone or keys.
Criticism: Abuser calls you names and brainwashes you to feel worthless.
Blame: Abuser makes you feel guilty and like everything, even their own behaviour, is somehow your fault.
Alcohol & Drugs: Abuser becomes overly emotional after drinking; sobbing, threatening to self-harm, becoming violent or angry. Afterewards, they say they don’t remember what happened while drunk. They use drinking as an excuse for poor behaviour.
