Very often, people who are experiencing domestic abuse may not even recognise it as abuse. Therefore it is all the more important to be patient and not pressure them. Recognising that something has to change is the first step.
We suggest approaching the conversation in an open, understanding, and non-blaming way and explaining your reasons for being concerned or casually ask the below questions during a conversation when your loved one has already brought up the topic.
Do not tell anyone about what they have disclosed to you unless they ask you to.
Have a code word they can use when they are in danger but cannot safely say so.
Do not confront their perpetrator; this could put her at real risk (and may also pose a risk for you) as they could become more violent if they feel threatened.
We receive contacts from people of all ages whose parents are experiencing domestic abuse. As with anyone who witnesses someone they love being abused, these contacts are primarily focused on finding ways to make the abuse stop.
Remember: Having feelings of love and attachment for those who are survivors of abuse — or even the perpetrator themselves — is nothing to be ashamed of, despite how confusing it might seem; what’s important is understanding how to process these emotions and get survivors the help they need.
